Moving at the Speed of... Slow. But C'mon, Dr. Jesus is Awfully Swell!

Just a nifty little cultural whatever. I see that this has been kicking around for years, but I just discovered it. Oh well, maybe not being up on 'net stuff is a sort of badge of honor in itself.

Malaria kills.

Fishing with Beer-Can Tabs

I wouldn't, but you can. Well... okay, if the government collapsed or something and we were all fending for ourselves, and especially if Kat were hungry, I would fish. And I just might go looking around for a tab to turn into a hook.

I really don't want to be a spoiled American when it comes to my diet. Since it's so easy for me to avoid animal foods because of the variety available just around the corner, I need to remind myself to remain flexible. It's not healthy to take luxury for granted. Some people in far off lands eat grubs or whatever because it's the only solid protein available. That's just life. I eat the way I do for greater reasons, but I'm not a perfectionist.

Anyhow, here's a fine little piece of survivalist DIY art, don't y' think? Click the pic to learn more.



Kinda funny what you come across while looking up store-brand soda, huh?

Cold War Satellite Sounds

Sven Grahn of the Swedish Space Corporation has an interesting hobby. Apparently, the fellow's been recording the sounds of satellites since the 60s. Now how 'bout we avoid additional alliteration and go check out some audio? If you don't feel compelled to visit the site yet, maybe a sample will help, a recording of the China 1 satellite from 1970 shrilling The East is Red. That's real Cold War gothic, folks! Creepy...



Go on, check it out, and puzzle over the doings of that strange animal, the human.

Bad Jewish Arguments for Vegetarianism

This ain't the Illuminati or lizard people disguised as world leaders, y'know. Yes, there are people who beleive in those things, but avoiding animal foods doesn't have to be so fringe. If you've been reading for a while, you know that I'll freely oppose weak arguments for vegetarianism and veganism. In the end, it just doesn't help.

So when I came across a series of videos on Jewish vegetarianism, the first thing I did was ask the opinion of Stephen, The Nervous Vegan's Official Expert on All Things Kosher. He's always full of insight when it comes to intersections between vegetarian and kosher diets. For my Jewish vegetarian friends out there, and anybody else who's interested, I'll post the videos and his criticisms.

The first thing he had to say pretty much set the tone for the entire exchange.

I haven't seen them yet, but I would just let you know in advance that Prof. Richard Schwartz is considered something of a kook. No pun intended, seriously. :) He has taken some very extreme positions and is considered a one-note diva. He is very outside the mainstream.

Okay then, let's watch along with Stephen. Here's part 1:

Hey, so I listened to the first recording and it is very Prof. Schwartz. That being said, it contains several distortions:

1) Yes, the longest living people in the Torah were in the earliest generations extending from Adam to Noach (Noah), but nowhere in the literature is this attributed to vegetarianism, or is it even a consideration. Rather, the shortening of life is considered related to man's corruption. Man cannot live too long because it created laziness and corruption. This is evidenced in the Tower of Babel story where the people of the world decide they are like Gd and want to build a tower to heaven to take their lofty place. Also it is further evidenced by the flood which ends the first era of history after which Gd puts a limit on life. In fact it is said that the ideal years of man is 120. But only one man reached that age: Moses. Even 'til today, it is common to wish someone on their birthday "Ad meah v'esrim" ('til 120). The limitation has nothing to do with vegetarianism.

2) There is no evidence that humans were not permitted to eat meat 'til the flood. The only prohibition against eating meat was in the Garden of Eden, and the speaker has pointed out those passages, but after Adam and Chava (Eve) are removed they are told they will have dominion over all living creatures. This can be interpreted as being only the ruler over animals, but more commonly as they were able to use animals for food as well...

However, it is clear that use of animals, and to be blunt, the bloodletting of animals, was clearly not frowned upon. In the story of Cain and Abel. Cain, a farmer gave sacrifice to Gd from his fields and Abel, a shepherd gave a sacrifice to Gd of his flock. Gd was pleased with Abel's offering, he called it a sweet fragrance, but not with Cain's which was referred to as stingy.

Cain became jealous and killed Abel. Cain was subsequently punished and obligated to wander the earth for the rest of his life without a place to settle. Clearly Gd preferred the animal offering to the vegetarian offering.

3) It is simply a distortion to say that Gd considered the generation of the flood evil because they ate meat against Gd's will. There is simply no evidence of that. What was an abomination was that men "tore the living flesh off of animals while they were still alive, causing animals tremendous suffering." The laws of kashrut require the removal of blood because it is the source of life, and that the animal be slaughtered in a humane fashion, by the instantaneous severing of the carotid artery with a smooth blade. However, it is considered an obligation for all of humanity that men cannot tear the living limbs off of animals, one of the obligations in the Torah that belong to all people and not just Jews. This is one of the 7 Noahide laws (Laws for all mankind).

4) Rav Kook was not a vegetarian, though he is cited frequently by vegetarians and Prof. Schwartz is notorious for using him in justify his theses. Rav Kook wrote about vegetarianism as the "ideal diet of Kashrut" and said that we shall return to it in the messianic age. But he maintained that in a time of imperfection vegetarian diet was improper and smacked of "pretension." Anyway, you might want to look at this.

See there! I have to look no further for a full discussion. Good work, sir!

Rav Kook's take on vegetarianism: Essentially while it is permissible it is not mandated nor is it even preferred behavior in modern times. Some of Rav Kook's letters to his son regarding the mitzvah of schechita (Kosher butchering).

To be clear... Prof Schwartz has taken Rav Kook's pronouncement that One may be a vegetarian if he chooses, and his observation that in the messianic age the diet will be vegetarian, to suggest that it is a preferred Jewish diet in present times, when Rav Kook says almost exactly the opposite. The most interesting aspect, I think, is Rav Kook's observation that many who refuse to eat meat are otherwise cruel to their fellow man.

There we are! These ideas don't really survive scrutiny, effective though they may be in some people's personal rationales. If you find yourself entering a discussion, show your stuff by not employing these arguments, or even by recognizing their faultiness. Remember, humbleness will get you further. I've actually found that silence impresses people more than debate.

Thank you once again, Stephen! I'll have to send you a New York Post t-shirt or something.

Church-Sign Scandal Averted!

The American Southeast, it seems to me, is singular in many ways, but this really stands out: Churches here use the kinds of signs you'd post the catch of the day on to convey Christian messages. I've been through the West and the Northeast, and I've never seen such a preponderance. While remaining respectful, some people develop an eye for humor in the signs. My friend Palmer in North Carolina is just such a fellow. He let me post this one.

Oh... my... goodness! Um... eh... not sure what to say... not exactly comfortable...



Ahhh, see. Two letters have fallen. Was it some opposing wind that knocked them down, or does the Christian God want to remind us to keep our senses of humor alive? Draw your own conclusions.



Good fellow that Palmer is, he replaced the letters. There now! Whew!



By the way, there's a site where you can generate your own funny church signs. Enjoy!

Wilt Thou Store Thy Junk, Fair Damsels and Strudy Knights?

There's just some sort of native genius to American themed architecture. I love this stuff. Maybe there's a touch of Luddite in me, but culture is good for the spirit.









I did an image search, and I found this page on this fine site. I recommend taking some time to have a look around. This person sure has me beat in terms of impromptu roadside stops!

I'm Not One to Put a Black Cowboy Hat on Anybody, But...

...I think Monsanto has placed one on itself, over and over again. You do know that genetically-engineered rBST, which goes by the name Posilac, injected into cows to increase milk yield, has been linked to cancer, don't you? As laid out here? And here? Or do you? If not, this could be part of the reason why.



I guess it was too much trouble for The M Word to keep up its hand-wringing and wicked laughter, because Elanco, a division of Eli Lilly, purchased the product from Monsanto in 2008 as part of the parent company's animal health division. Ironic considering the problems the product causes cows. Have you heard of mastitis, the source of the oft-discussed pus in milk? Yes, pus. Like an oozing wound.

A 79% increase in mastitis, according to Monsanto's own data.

Next, Gargamel will sell off all his plans to destroy the Smurfs.  I wonder if Azrael comes with the deal.

Let's stay fair and balanced, as Fox would have it. If you're all in favor of filth-dripping evil, or I should say pus-dripping evil, here's how you can get started.

You know there's affordable, non-GMO soymilk in a whole lot of supermarkets, right? Label it karma, or however you're most comfortable considering it. The wrath of God, maybe. Or just cause and effect. Work it into your own framework. Ultimately, it doesn't really matter. Cruel disregard for the wellbeing of animals will come back to you in the end.

The World Phones in Pizza Orders to Resist Oppression

Have you heard about Pizza ordered from Egypt in support of Wisconsin's protesters? People all over the world are phoning in orders to feed opposition to yet another example of Tea Party extremism, Governor Scott Walker's attempt to curtail collective bargaining rights. You can read about it here.

It seems that the protesters are doing more to stimulate the economy than the governor.





I can't help but think, though, about all that dairy being sold. Would vegans be involved in such a thing, or are we all too busy scanning recipe blogs for new ways to fill our bellies? Since it seems that many people who have recently taken it on see veganism as the latest fad diet, are we all sitting on our uninvolved behinds, thinking about how skinny those behinds have become, while the world is being made and lost all around us? I really hope it's not so.

Maybe I've just been looking at too many vegan blogs. I truly hope so.

Is Veganism Natural?

Nope. That's the short version. Of course, it depends on what you mean by natural. If you mean those parts of us that have gotten buried in overcivilization, the things we were built to do but for which we're given only poor substitutes, the losses that are killing us now, no, veganism isn't natural.

You know, I think nothing makes vegetarianism and veganism look sillier than phony arguments. People are built to be omnivores, plain and simple. We're opportunistic eaters. The old argument about teeth is just wrong, because have both teeth for tearing meat and teeth for grinding vegetables. The end. You can find a more detailed discussion here.

So if you appeal to biology to say that avoiding animal food is natural, you're going to seem uninformed at best, and foolish or fanatical at worst. Not great publicity.

If you look to archaeology too, there's no evidence that hunter-gatherers ate only vegetables, and in fact it seems like they ate a lot of meat. It's generally believed that the Clovis people hunted mammoths to extinction, handling that natural resource as carelessly as we handle oil today, though the position is controversial. Nevertheless, they certainly did hunt, as did other hunter-gatherers.



Even humans that have been stereotyped as carnivorous cavemen, it turns out, ate more of a mix. Neanderthals, it seems, ate their veggies. Sorry guys, there's also no evidence of empty beer cans, sports jerseys, or issues of Maxim magazine at digs. I'm not giving quarter to diehard steak-eaters either.

See, look at this guy. He's more sensitive than that. The selfish-but-lovable-oaf type in sitcoms isn't any more natural than anyone else. Don't blame this poor fellow for the decadence of your empire.



Anyhow, it seems that people have generally just been people, and that we've eaten in roughly the same way. We eat everything we can.

So I guess you can't call veganism natural.

But what is natural, really? I mean, is it possible for people, as animals, to do anything outside of nature? Are we not skyscraper-building animals? Are we not polluting, warring, blogging animals? Are we not animals that create decadent empires, and moronic, egotistical TV characters, and the fictional smart-mouthed termagants that love them?

There is something in our nature that seeks higher values, that produces moralities and philosophies, that strives for something better. In this, as in many other things, we're unique as creatures on Earth. We can conceive a bigger picture, we can respond to conscience, we can choose to limit ourselves, we can make choices for the sake of something other than mere survival.

So I guess being vegan is natural after all. It's just not natural like a paper napkin with brown dye in it, sporting a big recycling logo. It's natural as yet another strange thing that the human animal does.

Four Hugs a Day

I hadn't even half finished my last post, working on the laptop, when Kat started playing this song on the computer. Guess that's what comes of preschool experience.



She also found out where the idea came from. Good work!

KF... W?

It's a trick! He's trying to lure me in with something tasty! I know what they sell inside!

More Japanese Colonels here.

McWedding... I Kid You Not

You think, or maybe just hope, that it's a joke? Have a look here.

I like how Next Media Animation caricaturizes situations, so why not post one more video? "Skankz." Hee hee!

Sigh... Some Facts About the Ronald McDonald Beheading

Remember I mentioned that I was dreaming of a fascinating Finland in my very last post? Well, it's just the same as everywhere else. I dug a little deeper.

Jani Leinonen, a fine artist, is the guy behind the video. Here he is mugging, if only with his eyes.

He was arrested, and his computer, cell phone, and some of his art were confiscated. After being handcuffed and led out along with his assistant, he was interrogated for more than 30 hours. A pretty extreme reaction to the crime of stealing a plastic statue from a store. He didn't destroy it, even, it was a plaster copy that lost its head. Don't mess with the clown, I guess, he has the police in his pocket, even in far-off Finland.

Leinonen told NPR that there are no security cameras at that McDonald's, so he went and ate there the next day. Nevertheless, he made sure the kidnapping was caught on film. Obviously, the employees themselves don't care very much.



I had a look at the man's art. Y'know, maybe in the early 90s, putting a KKK hood on Cap'n Crunch, or giving his penis a face or whatever, would've had some meaning, at least in connection with the surge of interest in free speech back then. Now, it just looks like a childish prank to me, like shock meant to attract publicity. I guess culture is just as stagnant in Finland as it is in the USA. This stuff is far from the aesthetic heroism of, say, the Fluxus group in the 1960s.

His work only seems to justify the corporation's response that the gesture was "in very bad taste."

worth noting that, when it came out that he's an artist, Leinonen himself felt it necessary to state that the beheading was not just "a performance." He may have sensed a loss of credibility for the FLA himself.

The Food Liberation Army exists anyhow. It's a group of about 200 people from different professions. That's something interesting.

Maybe I'm being too negative here. I don't know if my growing disenchantment with culture is a result of its rapidly decreasing significance only, or if my own increasing age plays a part too. I can tell you that disappointments of this kind drive me to seek deeper and more lasting consolations, which is a good thing. It's why I do what I do, and that includes the diet I follow, the planting I do, and my emphasis on love over passing distractions. That's a very good thing.

They Beheaded Ronald McDonald!

No, that's not just a sensational title meant to attract search-engine traffic, some people actually did, according to Time. Oh, don't worry, it was just one of those fiberglass statues, or whatever they're made  of now. Here's how it all started:



These fiends are so wicked, they even stole away my ability to make the bottom bar of videos green! Anyhow, their demends were not met, as you might expect, and they made good on their threat.



Ooh! My my.

That's Finnish they're speaking, by the way. My first thought is, "Finland must be an interesting place." Maybe it's not terribly reasonable to size up a whole country based on a few individuals, but then again, maybe I enjoy imagining that there's some very interesting place out there somewhere. Ever the romantic.

You Can Once Again Delight in Things that Look Like Ducks

It's back! After more than a year, This Peanut Looks Like a Duck is posting pictures again. So.. yeah. A lot of things that look like ducks. Mostly food. Some... gasp... animal products. You know I have a fascination with the cultures of foods that have become foreign to me. Anyhow, it's cute and funny.



And while the cuteness is pouring forth, I can't help but plug a blog that hasn't been updated for years, though if you've never seen it, it's worth checking out. Awfully sweet. Behold... Let's Be Friends!



Awww!

If I Say Something About Poop, I Hope it Doesn't Bother You

I'm like a dog. I smell things. I mean I sniff the air, I smell objects in my hands.



Maybe I'm thinking about it because I was turning over the compost, enjoying the rich, complex smell of decaying plant matter. Thinking that the scentscape is a world of many dimensions, a world all its own.

That's sorta what happens when I spend time outside planting or whatever. The smells indoors just aren't the same. I mean, what do you smell now? Maybe the warm plastic of your computer, maybe traces of cooking odors, or maybe you just noticed that you need to take the garbage out. Have you stopped to smell the air somewhere with dirt and trees and plants and... air? Not thinking about it, just smelling.

It's the same with sound. All the little noises of the machinery in your home, the fridge, the heater, the jarring din of the TV, rattle you in a way that the rustling of leaves and the singing of birds never could.

There's variety out there, an endless stream of experience in which all sorts of things are living all around you. It's always changing, but it's never telling you anything, it's just there, so it never gets tiring. The hard, straight edges and uniform boredom of household objects are scarce.

There's something in people that needs that sort of constant but gentle variety. Purely indoor creatures may get trapped in an endless cycle of novelty-seeking and dissatisfaction, never quite getting what they need. How many people search the 'net for hours, hoping for that one moment of discovery, hoping for something to jar them out of their numbness? There's a world of high-speed, streaming reality just outside the door.

Anyhow, I guess it was this state of mind, and thoughts of decomposing vegetable matter and smells, that got me thinking about how little time I spend in the bathroom now. It's hardly worth bringing a book in, or even a pamphlet. The bathroom is no longer a place for private reading time. That's what a vegan diet will do to you. I guess if I'm losing that time, but I'm also losing the likelihood of colon cancer, it's a pretty good tradeoff. I'm sure our systems are made to process much more vegetable matter than they're generally given.

I may be old-fashioned, talking about books when 27% of Americans use Facebook on the toilet.  There's a wide variety of things modern people can do to keep themselves amused in there.




I wish I could remember the quote from a rabbi I ran into a while ago, something about needing culture, needing words to deny the bluntly animal nature of taking a poop. He suggested that it was better not to be distracted, but rather to accept your animalhood. Well, I don't have much choice now. I can barely finish reading a sentence.

So... eh, there seems to be some sort of thesis here about being out of touch with what we're programmed to do and experience, but I'm not sure I know how to wrap it up with a conclusion. The post just kinda drifted off. I guess I'll just sign off then. 'Til next time, may you encounter many engaging scents, and may all your movements be healthy ones.

I Dare You!

That's right! I dare you to tell me that perfection is possible. I double-dog dare you!

If you pursue a vegan diet, some day, at least a bit of that detested animal matter will pass your lips. Accidents happen. Unless you get struck down in the flower of your... well, whatever phase of life you're in.

And if you eat nothing but factory-farmed steak, chosen because it came from the worst and most torture-laden of factory farms, you're certainly not doing any better.

Just relax. Life's like that. It's how you face the trouble that counts. If you have a fit, you're losing the game. If you can choose your reaction, you're doing okay. Please just know, you'll never completely avoid troubles. The end.

The End.

See these guys? You can click and read the article. You can also figure out the connection yourself. Maybe there isn't one, even. How 'bout you do the work now?

Sal Monella is Gonna Getcha

Feeling hungry? This should fix that...

KFC Training Filmstrip - Bacteria

You can find 12 more tracks, and a whole lot more odd stuff, here.

Ohhh, I Think I'll Stick to Tempeh on My BLTs

Could bacon lead you astray? The article's here. You tell me.

Taco Bell Responds to the Lawsuit in a Full-Page Ad

Article here.