From 90s Christian Shirts to YouTube to You!

I realized that I hadn't taken a poke at McDonald's in a while, so I went looking around for something interesting. What I found was some fellow in the tiny country of Liechtenstein, Fr. Johannes M Schwarz. He doesn't seem at all disturbed by the mixture of animal-torturing factory farming, food that destroys your health, the production of massive amounts of solid waste, and... the Blessed Virgin Mary. Yep. Says the artist himself, "Not fast food - but fast grace! For your catholic enjoyment!"



Goodness, what a deep voice! Okay, I know what the guy's trying to do, it's just... well, the shirts from a decade or two ago, when some Protestant Christians seemed eager to show that they can be cool and hip too, were one thing. The animation and sound kinda take it to a different place.

Remember seeing "Jesus Christ" in the Coke-logo font across the chest of some young person who, really, is just like anybody else? Here's the video version. Kinda.

"Well it doesn't always have to be a soft drink. And I get to bust that fake Santa. Enjoy - Always ;-)"



What's the connection between Christianity and junk food? During my time on a campus last year, I would consider the food that various religious groups offered when they set up on the lawn. I appreciated the vegan items at Krishna lunch, but the Catholics set out Pringles and chocolate chip cookies for us to enjoy while they strummed guitars and beat bongos. And I've known people brought up in Christian homes who still lived on their childhood diets of candy and soda. Is it in lieu of alcohol and other recreational drugs? I dunno.

Or maybe this guy's trying to tell me something. I know I did a soda one already, but come on, these are well done.



Now please don't get me wrong. I had a "Get Out of Hell Free" shirt myself about ten years ago, done in the style of a well-known card from the Monopoly board game. I like finding unusual t-shirts, and I'm fine with the ideas of many religions. In fact, if I stumbled upon this on a shirt at a thrift store today, I would probably want it.

"This one I made with my students in mind. :-) Ludwig Ott wrote the popular and widely spread Fundamentals of Catholic Dogma. And now he might be the only author with a movie style intro to his book :-) If you want a generally solid synthesis of the catholic faith, check out ignatius press or amazon to get a copy."



Okay, by now you may have guessed that I've become an instant fan of this guy, and that's why I'm putting so many videos into a single post. You just have to make a little space for yourself when approaching something new, y'know? What can I say? I have a complex aesthetic sense. One more and I'll let you go, okay?

"This being a Mary clip it is bound to attract protestant slurs. For all those fundamentalists out there: Stop whining. Start reading up on the early church. Long before any one sacred book was in anyone's hand, there was tradition. Jesus founded a living Church, not a book club! 2 Thess 2:15. This mystical body subsists in the Catholic Church!"



Thank you for bearing with me. As you were!

'Tween-Time Motels: Gateway and Murphy's

Before the bustle at the lower end of corporate capitalism begins along US 19 in the Tampa Bay area, fairies go about spreading the sobs of long-dead broken hearts and the sighs shattered dreams. This is a 'tween time, and its beauty can seize a bleary-eyed driver drifting between here and there. Weeds triumphing though pavement cracks and peeling paint seem to signify something more now. I'd like to show you a little of that silent magic.

Look out! I guess that, judging by the name, once you've stayed here a few times, you'll want to move on to seedier and seedier motels. You won't be able to stop yourself. There's a discount liquor store right there, so you'll be able to ease your passage downward a bit.

Hm, if you can't afford to stay with the leprechauns, just turn right.

Do you think St. Patrick would be willing to chase roaches out, too?

Sure and 'tis full this mornin'.

So there we are. More eerie and decadent beauty will be coming your way soon, courtesy of your favorite Monkey. Stay tuned!

The Thing About a Picture and a Thousand Words? It May Be True After All.

Taken by yours truly.

'Tis the Season to Be Scary in... Hong Kong?

I guess Labor Day is to Halloween what Thanksgiving is to the Christmas season nowadays, since promos are starting to trickle in. This just showed up on Hong Kong Disneyland's Facebook page, and I have to admit, it took me by surprise. I really never thought I'd see or hear anything like Western spookiness in Chinese.



It's the Circle K logo that seems the most unsettling to me. Have we really placed convenience stores there?

Living in the middle of a great empire is an amazing thing, isn't it? Disturbing and fascinating, and yes, since beauty is a morally-neutral business, admittedly attractive. This seems like a tepid and somewhat puzzling interpretation of the holiday to me though. I wish I knew someone who could explain to me to just how much it's been adapted to Eastern culture, if at all. That woman looks kinda J-Horror, I think.

Here's a parade and other stuff from a few years back, with some characters that are perhaps more familiar. It was selected especially for your delectation, you decadent child of empire you.



It's interesting to note that recently-created characters are prominent in their promos. I know little about it, but I'm guessing that Disney's popularity in Asia is directly proportional to the continent's recent financial growth. I can't picture Chairman Mao as a big fan of the Aristocats anyhow.

Someone must love Stitch, or a whole lot of someones, since he's been placed front-and-center more than once. I'll have to get a bit pre-Labor-Day to show you.



If you're an American, you have a part in this somehow. Just amazing, that's all. Now go drink some coffee, eat some refined sugar, drink some rum, meditate on these early symbols of global capitalism, and consider where you sit right now. It won't last forever. Bum bum bum bummmmm!